Embracing Imperfection: Finding Strength in the Struggle

We all have flaws, make mistakes, learn, and move forward. No one is exempt from this cycle, myself included. I'm far from perfect, and it has nothing to do with my multiple sclerosis (MS). MS is a part of my life, and it brings its own set of challenges, but it doesn't define my worth. It pushes me to discover new ways to be myself, despite the obstacles.

Today was tough. I had a plan to handle some legal matters, organizing all the necessary data. As I went through it, I felt a deep sadness and pity for my family and me. The weight of past experiences resurfaced, like the time neighbor pointed a gun at me and my three-year-old kid one of many hate fueled incidents. It’s beyond comprehension how some people can harbor such hatred. In my sadness, I worked on a song, compiled videos of that incident, and documented everything in a spreadsheet.

But despite the pain, I strive to focus on the positive and push past the hurtful and sad days. Today was especially challenging emotionally. I could have hidden my feelings away, buried in the basement of my mind. It often seems easier for men to express their emotions without judgment. Women, on the other hand, are often labeled as too emotional or in need of therapy for simply expressing themselves. It’s frustrating and deeply hurtful. When a woman is headstrong, she’s seen as difficult. When a man is headstrong, he’s celebrated. This double standard is infuriating and disheartening. 

Adding to this is the weaponization of my MS. People assume they understand what I’m going through, but only I truly know how I feel. No one else can step into my body and experience my pain or read my mind.

I need to shake off this negativity. It dampened my morning enthusiasm and left me bedridden for hours. Stress and heat both affect my balance, making it crucial to escape from such environments. But amidst all this, there’s a silver lining. My dogs, Coco and Chase, are here with me. Their sweet faces and presence are a source of much-needed positivity. Although they are service dogs, they provide incredible emotional support, sensing my distress and staying by my side.

Today and the Fourth of July were rough. But the good thing about tough days is that they eventually end. Tomorrow is a new day, and with it comes the possibility of better moments.

So, here’s to embracing our imperfections, learning from our mistakes, and finding strength in our struggles. Tomorrow will be a better day.